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me:
time for bed
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stomach:
LET'S EAT 15 CHEESEBURGERS WITH ICE CREAM CAKE AND POTATO CHIPS WITH AN ENTIRE TACO BELL ON THE SIDE
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brain:
HEY REMEMBER ALL THOSE WORRIES, IDEAS, ASPIRATIONS AND OTHER ANXIOUS THOUGHTS WELL NOW YOU DO
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muscles:
I HURT FOR AN UNEXPLAINED REASON LIKE ARE YOU GROWING DO YOU HAVE A DISEASE LOL IDK HELP
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skin:
LET'S PLAY A GAME CALLED ARE YOU ITCHY OR DID A SPIDER EGG SACK JUST BIRTH ON YOU
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ears:
THERE'S A JET PLANE 500 MILES AWAY ALSO I THINK THE NEIGHBOR IS VACUUMING
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eyes:
WOW EVER NOTICE HOW IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY INTO PITCH BLACKNESS YOU CAN ALMOST SEE YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE
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mouth:
IT'S DEATH VALLEY UP IN HERE
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body:
HAVE FUN TOSSING AND TURNING FOR THE NEXT 2 HOURS
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me:
ugh
what if instead of countries declaring war on each other there was just a big rap battle
did you mean eurovision
(via ohtherage)
(Source: epic-humor, via ohtherage)
HOW DOES POPCORN EVEN DO THAT THING
HERE I SHOW YOU THE THING
(via ohtherage)
what if instead of countries declaring war on each other there was just a big rap battle
did you mean eurovision
(via ohtherage)
OH MY GOD APPARENTLY TAKING AN ARROW TO THE KNEE WAS AN OLD NORDIC SLANG FOR GETTING MARRIED
I THOUGHT THAT ALL THOSE GUYS IN SKYRIM HAD LITERALLY BEEN SHOT IN THEIR KNEES WITH ARROWS BUT I GUESS NOT
And at that moment, the foundation of that entire meme became something like this:
THAT EXPLAINS WHY MEN GO DOWN ON ONE KNEE WHEN THEY PROPOSE
OH MY GOD
(via ohtherage)
I Promise I’m Not a Murderer: The Story of a Researching Writer
now with a sequel:
I Swear I’m Not Pregnant, I’m Just Naming Characters
Don’t forget: I’m not Trying to Break Into This Building, I Just Need to Know the Layout of it
(via ohtherage)
i’ve finally realized that my love for ‘interspecies love’ like this comes from the joy of seeing two worlds blend together despite the odds against.
(via ohtherage)
clip from the brand new oreo commercial
so this has been on my dash for over a month and i just got the joke
